Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
