You're completely useless in the revolution.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
