Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
