I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
