I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
