i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
