just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
