I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
