Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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