I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
