I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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