In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
