hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The air was thick with penises
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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