no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
