You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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