I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
