Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
