the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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