just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
