We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
