The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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