hell yes lets make some ravioli
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
