She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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