My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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