idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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