all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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