You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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