covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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