do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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