Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
