we're making bets on your personal life
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
