There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
