I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
