Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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