Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
