How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
