My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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