so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
