so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
