I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
