Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
