Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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