i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
