3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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