We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize