she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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