she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
