I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
