dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
sarcasm needs its own font
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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