YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
