Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
