I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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