It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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