Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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