I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He has the fingertips of a God
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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