I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
