how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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