Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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