Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize