the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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