5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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