I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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