I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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