did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
