Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
